Threats & Forces (Part 2)

I hope you are well on your way to elevating your self-awareness on the impact of the words we use while applying the T.H.R.E.A.T.S. litmus test (see previous post). As you watch out for what to avoid in your personal or digital conversations, also use the F.O.R.C.E.S. rapid-check to help you navigate any complex conversations that you might have to engage in while you stay at home.

In Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ), THREATS and FORCES are acronyms for a mental litmus test that C-IQ savvy leaders and coaches learn to be proficient in. These letters stand for a series of questions the communicators ask themselves before they deliver a message.

These questions help us to down-regulate to reduce the effects of fear or up-regulate to increase the influence of the executive brain. This helps us form social connections, strengthening our ability to bond with others instead of withdrawing from them. In fact, researchers have found that by learning to read signals sent by the amygdala, we become far more effective at embracing trust. Without which, creativity and innovative thought is not possible.

When you want to navigate delicate and tough conversations, subject your message to the following F.O.R.C.E.S. rapid-check questions:

1. Is what I am about to say FAIR? Is it coming from a spirit of “We” rather than “I?”

2. Does my message encourage clear OWNERSHIP, where the message describes what each of us needs to do to move forward?

3. Is my message conveying and leading towards RECIPROCITY of compassion and care?

4. Do I define in my message how to champion COOPERATION so we can achieve what we need together?

5. In the conduct of the conversation, are we creating safe spaces for robust and free EXPRESSION?

6. Are we honoring where we both stand now; do we honor each other’s STATUS amidst this reality?

C-IQ is vital in navigating the complex personal and digital communications that we may engage in amidst this Community Quarantine. Practice as often as you can and do not be in a mad rush to get conversations over and done with. You now have a little bit more time to listen, empathize, and pause before you say anything or respond.